The days that followed were, as you might suppose, terrible. I agreed, and decided to follow the doc’s advice, while hunting down a specialist. I would plan on not doing much work at home, including housework, child-minding, and homestead tasks.Ĭeredwyn disliked the prescription, finding it too harsh, and wanted me to get a second opinion.

I would tell my employer that I was going to be under the weather for a few days. I was going to be in a bad way for a while, maybe a week. We drove home through the Champlain Valley of western Vermont, my wife, Ceredwyn, at the wheel, as I was in a form of shock. He anticipated so much pain that a narcotic was called for. In a show of mercy, the clinician prescribed a heavy-duty painkiller, Percocet. My Russian DNA gave me a genetic predisposition in favor of vodka, as well. (And no alcohol? I hadn’t been a regular drinker since my college days, but still adored Guinness, and appreciated fine whiskey. Gone too would be any Italian, tomato-based sauces.) Gone were hot wings, Buffalo flavor anything, spicy pizzas – heck, pizza at all. Out with my battery of hot sauces, the Tabasco flotilla. No more would I proudly dare Indian restaurants to make me lamb curries “hotter than Indian hot”. I’d have to stop my refreshing morning glass of orange juice. (The food part was an extra dose of melancholy. Everything which injured, aggravated, or maimed my guts had to cease immediately. No gradual tapering off cold turkey was the only way, commencing at once. No acids – i.e., no tomatoes, no oranges. No more caffeine in any form: coffee, black tea, caffeinated soda, chocolate. The other option (the doctor continued, with mordant glee) was to radically change my diet. The ulcers were about to start bleeding into my abdomen, which would be a very bad thing, and which was why hospitalization was one treatment option. He explained that my guts were mostly like in a bad state of ulceration, and my diet was the most probable cause. The family doctor stared at me sternly, then issued his diagnosis and prescription.

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